Don’t accept me for who I am.
Push me to be who I was born to be.
Trigger me. Make me uncomfortable where I am. Help me set new standards.
I don’t want the world to agree with me. I want the world to be stunned by me.
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Protect Your Territory
Lions know their place. How well do you know yours?
Knowing your place means being 100% clear on what you own. What’s yours to care for, what’s yours to protect, what’s yours to influence …in any given moment or circumstance.
Knowing your place. How well do you know yours?
Lions patrol their territory constantly. Over time, through instinct, habit, and trial and error, they know the where their kingdom ends and where another begins. They roam the invisible boundaries of their vast grasslands for hours on end, ceaseless. Alert. Marking the grass with their scent to remind intruders that “this is my house” and roaring to connect with their pride and let them know “I’ve got this.” They take an aggressive stance – fight when necessary – to keep rogue lions out. Not everyone is welcome here. I get to choose. I am in charge.
Lions know their place. How well do you know yours?
Lions don’t own every square inch of the grasslands, nor would they want to. Taking care of all that? That would never work. Each pride has their piece of the pridelands that is theirs to care for, to protect.
How big is your territory? Do you know where it ends, and another begins? Who is your pride and are you fulfilling your duty to them as leader, as protector, as guide, as influencer?
Knowing your place means being 100% clear on what you own. What’s yours to care for, what’s yours to protect, what’s yours to influence … in any given moment or circumstance.
Patrol. Know your territory, inside and out. Scan your environment, and be aware of what’s coming in and going out.
Protect. Fight for your boundaries. Keep your territory yours.
Does it sound like grueling work? Lonely, harsh? What’s cool is that lions don’t do the work alone. They usually have at least one other male lion to help them keep the land and pride in order. They’ve got company on those long patrols in the hot African sun, a brother who’s got their back.
Nah, they’re not alone. It’s not hard work to them, it’s natural. It’s necessary.
Protecting your territory doesn’t have to be exhausting or hostile. In fact, you’ll feel a peace, a power, and a certain “rightness” in knowing your place. There’s more joy to be experienced. More opportunity to be had. It’s natural. It’s necessary.
Lions know their place. How well do you know yours?
Images sourced from Google images. Main image credit: John van Beers’
Feel Powerless? Stuck? These Three Words Will Help You Take Empowered Action
The smallest things can make a big difference.
We make life too complicated, forget how capable and powerful we are.
As a writer and professional communicator, I take words really seriously. Sometimes, I see, read, or hear words that have a special kind of resonance…A stunning quality to them that “zings” me.
When I came across these three words the other day, that “zing” happened.
So I will…
Imagine you were complaining about something, like, “I have a big project at work and I have to work late and I won’t have time to workout…(so poor me, this day is gonna suck and I’m never gonna reach my goals with a job like this.)”
What if, instead, you inserted “so I will”? It sounds like this:
“I have a big project at work and I have to work late and I won’t have time to workout…so I will …
Can you feel the pause, the power returning to YOU?
The other train of thought gives your power away to the circumstance. “So I will” is like a stop sign for your brain. As you roll up to that four-way stop, you (hopefully) Stop. Look around. Make a decision. Then proceed.
So I will is the new four-way stop to help you take empowered action!
30-day money back guarantee that this works for anyone, any situation. I’m thinking of my mom who is a full-time caregiver for my dad with Alzheimer’s. She is giving her life to this man and the disease that has taken away a lot of her freedom. But has the situation taken away her power? No, never. Nothing can take away our ability to choose differently.
“I’ve been stuck in this house for a week. I can’t leave to get groceries. I can’t relax in my own home. I’ve lost touch with friends…”
Step one is to catch yourself in this train of thought.
Take a deep breath.
Say “So I will” and insert a simple, empowered step you can take in this moment. Doesn’t have to be life altering. It can be something like, “So I will take 5 minutes to sit down. So I will say a little prayer. So I will ask for help.” (Author’s note: by the way, my mom has never complained about her situation to me like that. I only assume she feels that way and it provided a nice example. She is a true rock star with a ginormous heart for others and she does have people who help her. You’re doing great, mom.)
Let’s try it with the earlier example about a long work day and having no time to get to the gym. “So I will take a walk at lunch. So I will get up an hour earlier and get my workout in. So I will commit to eating healthy instead and not beat myself up.”
What a difference THREE WORDS can make in our energy, outlook, and outcomes.
Think of a situation that you feel helpless about, stuck in. Try it! “So I Will…”
Did it work? Is there something, some little thing, that you can do right now that changes the trajectory of that situation? It doesn’t have you, you have it! You get to be in control.
You’re a LIONGIRL with a divine nature. You’ve forgotten that you have access to great wisdom and power to create your life, on your terms. Our purpose as a pride is to help each other activate that crazy powerful warrior-spirit so you can do things your way – and be happier and healthier for it.
See for yourself
My 9-year-old daughter was about to take a shower. I started the water for her and was almost out of the room when she yelled, “Is it warm yet, mom?”
“I don’t know, babe, put your hand in it and see.”
I could have turned around and walked back, tested the water, adjusted the temp, and gave her the all clear. Instead, I empowered her to see for herself.
Tiny example but what a great analogy for the bigger things in life! See for yourself! Take your power back. Stop asking for permission or wondering if the time is right. Put your hand in and see.
Too hot? Add a little cold. Too cold? Add a little hot.
You’re smart. You know what to do. You don’t need to ask anyone to check the temperature for you. Trust yourself. Just put your hand in and see.
Questions for reflection:
Who are you asking or waiting for permission from? Who are you asking to test the water for you? Who do you need validation from?
And what are you scared to jump into? What “just right” temperature are you waiting for? What can you do right now to adjust the temp so it’s ready for you?
LIONGIRL action:
Take a shower. Get the water temperature just right and step in. As the water pours over your head, let it wash away the people and old beliefs that you can’t do it or figure it out by yourself. That you aren’t smart enough, capable enough, worthy enough… Let this shower – and all future showers – be a cleansing ritual to rid you of powerless thoughts. Step out clean and ready to take on the world.
Same damn thing over and over again
Do you bump into the same issues over and over again? Have the same fights with yourself or others, struggle with the same problem that you thought was resolved?
“Why the hell is this happening again!?”
While you may feel like you’re going in a circle, consider re-framing it as a spiral taking you upward. Each time you come around the spiral and you encounter the same issue, you are back in the same place, only above it this time. You have a chance to tackle it differently (or the same) but regardless, you are moving higher and higher up the path of the spiral.
The higher you get (that is the more times you must deal with the problem), the better your perspective. The more learnings you have. The more wisdom you gain to know what works and what doesn’t. The more strength you build to tolerate it – and you can start to make new choices about it.
Tackling a problem takes training and time. Just like strength training in the world of fitness – you need resistance to get stronger. With each press and curl, you build your tolerance, stamina and ability to push yourself farther than last time. In time–not overnight–you see gains.
This is why we run into the same big issues over and over again – God is like a personal trainer in the gym. Our biggest pain points and sources of struggle are training us to be stronger, wise, more tolerant – and ultimately, healthier and happier in our skin. : )
You are so much bigger than any problem in front of you. Next time “it” rears its ugly head…remember, “I’ve done this before… I’ve trained for this a million times.” Source your own strength, and see if you can’t breakthrough to a new level.
Even small gains are a victory. Celebrate the little wins and keep going up.
When Life Doesn’t Fit Anymore
Kids feet grow so fast! I feel like I’m buying new shoes for my kids every other week. At some point, our feet stop growing. And there we are, destined to be a size 8 our whole lives.
And while our physical growth reaches it’s peak, our psychological maturity keeps developing. And so, metaphorically, we get used to life in size 8 shoes. It works great for awhile as we find our way in the world, but eventually (I’ll even be bold enough to say inevitably) you start to feel the squeeze. The shoes (a.k.a. job, relationship, social circles, hobbies, etc.) aren’t as interesting, fulfilling, or meaningful as they used to be.
“Walking in shoes too small is a phrase that Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung used to describe our propensity to ignore the calling to something bigger. Unlike our literal feet, which grow to a certain size and stop, our metaphorical feet—the drives, challenges, callings, yearnings of our careers and lives—never stop growing. Each stage of life, from infancy to old age, presents new opportunities and challenges. But often we fail to respond to the call for growth and wind up walking around in shoes too small, traveling boring roads, working jobs that do not challenge and striving for goals that do not excite. Invested in illusions of security, we are afraid to leave our old ways: the good salary, the good position, the dead but familiar relationship, the old dream long fulfilled.” -John Becknell
If you’re feeling this – You’re not crazy. You didn’t make bad choices on your way to adulthood. You are simply HUMAN. And the good news is that you’re a maturing human which means you’re growing up (consciously) and want to take control of your own life, instead of living someone else’s version of it.
Some people, when they hit this point, go through the dreaded “mid-life crisis” because they suddenly freak out when they realize they are not immortal, they don’t have limitless time, and their old life isn’t working anymore. So, I’d better fulfill every pleasurable desire of my ego possible before I die. I’ll (1) blow up my marriage. (2) Change careers. (3) Become a physique athlete. (I’ve tried # 1; now I’m trying 2 and 3…you fill in the blanks for yourself.)
I was so relieved to find out (thanks Carl Jung) that everything I’m feeling and have been feeling since about 35…is normal. The stages of human existence. We are born, and like the path of the sun, we follow an arc across the sky until we die. Mid-life (35-50 ish) is “mid-day” when the sun reaches its apex point in the sky and begins its descent. In the first half of life as we are rising and we cannot see the ground—only wide open blue sky before us. Then, in middle life, our vantage point changes and we can see the ground, the finitude of life. Perspectives, literally, begin to shift. Values change. More soulful questions arise like: “What do I really want? Who am I? What am I here to offer?”
If you don’t know the answers to those questions, don’t worry. Most people, honestly, can’t answer those questions. It’s super hard to know who we are at the deepest level, what we’re doing, where we’re going, and what we’re in service to.
James Hollis, in his book What Matters Most: Living a Considered Life says: “Only rarely do we realize that somewhere along the way we lost psychological ‘permission’ to be who we really are.”
Instead, we have become what we have adapted to, what we have had to become to survive as a human on this plane.
You were born to outgrow your shoes! Don’t be afraid to take ’em off and go barefoot for awhile. Let your toes experience the grass, the sand, the water, the mud…You don’t have to give up everything and change your whole life RIGHT NOW. That could cause more pain and suffering than is necessary. Let it be gradual. Be in the flow of this natural process of “growing up” and growing out of your old ways. Give yourself permission to experiment with soulful discovery and exploration of who you want to be—on your terms!
TIPS TO SHED THE SHOES (LIFE) THAT DOESN’T FIT ANYMORE
- Honor What’s Happening. Recognizing that things aren’t working, aren’t fun and fulfilling anymore, that life is feeling kinda dull, outdated and flat is a good thing. It means your soul is breaking through, working in your favor to bring something new and better into your life. Take a deep breath, know you’re not crazy, be gentle with yourself, and don’t feel pressured “to figure it out.” Adding more mental energy to the game won’t help. This is a matter of the heart and soul.
- Simplify Your Life. Sometimes, we gotta cocoon a little. Get in our comfy pants and stay home. Say no to social commitments (unless they nourish you.) Stop subscribing to so many e-newsletters for free things. Stop reading self-help books. Stop being a busybody to avoid feeling the fear and pain underneath it. Simplify as much as you can. Life doesn’t stop – let’s get real – but the more you can calm your outer world, the more energy you’ll have for the inner work.
- Spend Time in Nature. Reconnecting to our natural selves involves quiet, restorative and reflective time. Reclaiming your connection to the wind and sun and trees and animals will support your process of unraveling and restoration. The sun, especially, is a life-giving, animating force. Feel the heat on your face and recommit to a life that is uniquely, unapologetically yours. (The moon can teach you about cycles of light and dark, letting go and rebuilding. And the stars! Oh, the stars…!)
- Lift Heavy. Literally and figuratively. Being strong in your physical body is just as important as being strong in your mental and emotional bodies. If you’ve never lifted weights before – or are intimidated, find a coach. Start with push ups in your living room. Just get in your body and make it strong. It’s the temple of your soul. Feeling strong physically will boost your confidence and creative power. Guarantee it. And it will give you the energy to lift off the “heavy shit” that you’ve been carrying around for far too long (other people’s beliefs, ancestral wounds, cultural norms, societal pressures, etc.)
- Find an Ally, a Mentor. When we’re on the quest, it’s so supportive to have someone to process things with – especially a brilliant one that can reflect your own brilliance back and help you see things you couldn’t see. Be on the lookout for that person for you–someone you resonate with, or intuitively feel a connection with. Don’t be lured into self-help traps and flashy programs though. This is a time to shed other people’s concepts and return to what is yours and yours alone. (Depth psychology, Jungian analysis, Gestalt therapy, and Human Design has been good for me, for what it’s worth…)
- Trust the Process. Your soul is connected to a Great Creative Force. There is a love that is holding you during this time … like a sweet old grandmother making soup–she’s adding ingredients, tending to the flame, stirring, tasting, adding more of this and that, letting it simmer til it’s just right. You’re the soup. You’re simmering. You’re being created.
5 Ways Paddle-boarding is Like Life
1 | Stability – If you’re not stable, you’ll fall off – or have a very stressful ride. Different people need different boards. Make sure your board provides the stability you need to enjoy your ride. You might have to try a few out to find the perfect fit. Find the thing(s) that bring ease and stability into your life. A strong, stable foundation will help you feel more confident to try new things. It will also help you ride the waves more gracefully when things get rough.
“A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.” – Tom Robbins
2 | Falling – It can be scary, at first, to think about falling in the water. Cold. Deep. Fish. Wet. How will I get back on my board? But once you fall and realize you’re not going to die, the next fall seems less horrible. You’re forced to take a big invigorating breath – get the blood flowing/heart pumping a little, maybe even laugh at yourself, and get back on your board. You adjust. Learn. Go out even stronger than before. Next time you feel scared of failing, er, falling, take a deep breath, splash some cold water on your face, look yourself in the mirror and remember You Were Born for This.
The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
3 | Awareness – You have to be aware of yourself and your surroundings, and your relationship to them. If you’re getting too close to an anchored boat, you need to navigate around it. If you see a speed boat coming, you want to be sure it sees you and you don’t get hammered in its wake. If you see ominous clouds and the wind is picking up, better be sure you’re not too far away from shore/safety. You have to look up and around. You have to be aware of the world around you. You have to be agile and willing/ready to make a move or change direction. It’s like dancing with life. It moves, you move – and vice versa. Having awareness of your internal state and the state of the external world–and your impact upon/relationship to it–helps you become the master of your life, the creator of your experience.
“Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom … the power to choose, to respond, to change.” – Stephen Covey
4 | Kneeling – It’s OK to get on your knees and paddle. You’re not a failure. You’re not weak. If we gave ourselves permission more often to “kneel,” and not have to have it all together, it would take a lot of pressure of ourselves – and others! Lead the way with your authenticity and humility. It’s refreshing and life giving. Also, kneeling is a prayerful position, an age-old symbol of devotion, reverence, and surrender. Consider how often you actually get on your knees and ask for help? Or pray in gratitude? Doesn’t matter your relationship to religion or how “spiritual” you may be, getting low might give you knew perspective and peace to get through the turbulence!
“To ascend the mountain, we must descend to our knees.” – Craig D. Lounsbrough
5| Balance – Strong core. Athletic stance. Bend in your knees. Paddle in hand. You’re ready for action. Being able to keep your body upright and be in control of your body movement is a key fitness skill – and one that will keep you on the board and happy and dry : ) But balance obviously applies to other areas of our lives, as well. Work/play balance. Kid/husband balance. Family-life/professional-life balance. Friend-time/alone-time balance. Salad/Ice Cream balance. Are you feeling burnt out, resentful? Good chance something is out of balance. Re-calibrate. Say “no” more. Say “yes” more. You’re smart; you know what you need to let go of, and what you need to embrace more of. Find your happy balance.
“Life is a balance of holding on and letting go.” – Rumi
Do You Dare?
Last week I had the opportunity to take a group of awesome #liongirls to a local Ropes Course. Our theme: Be brave, do bold things! Take a risk and go for it.
We read the safety rules, got harnessed in, and took to the ropes. We each set out for the challenges that appealed to us – high slackline, wobbly barrels, swinging poles, teetering planks, etc. We screamed on some, held our breath on others, laughed at ourselves and each other (nicely), dug deep and found our courage when we got a little freaked out that we might actually fall, and cheered each other on.
“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” — Soren Kierkegaard
Separate But Together
I loved that we were each doing our own thing (having our own unique experience), but we were all on the ropes course at the same time, intimately aware of where our friends were at all times. Tackling the same obstacles.
Helping Others Suceeed
If we were the first to do a challenge, we would share our tips for success and what to watch out for with the person coming behind us. “Be careful, those things spin! I almost fell” and “It helps to pull the ropes, like this…”
Celebrating Ourselves and Inspiring Others
It was totally OK to celebrate our victories! “Wow, did you see me do that?” Genuine acknowledgement of our accomplishments feels good, especially when we do something hard that pushes us beyond our comfort zones. In healthy communities, we should be able to express our pride and have others reflect back to us how amazing we are! “Yeah, that was awesome! I’m going to try it now!”
There are so many great life lessons on the Ropes. See for yourself! We have more Ropes Course events planned this summer. Come play the LIONGIRL way and experience your power like never before.
SUMMER OF POWER Aerial Park Adventures – More Info and Sign up Now!
5 Most Common Regrets of the Dying
My friend Beth is a hospice chaplain. She has the honor of being with people and their families at the end of life. The other day she posted on her Facebook page “The Five Most Common Regrets People Express When They Are Dying.”
I’ve seen lists like these before; and they always make me pause because living #regretfree is big for me. I want to make the most of this #oneshot I’ve been given, and I hope to inspire others rise to a bigger, bolder, happier life, as well.
This time, I was particularly struck by this list of regrets because (1) they came from someone I know and deeply respect and (2) they all burn with the truth of why I started LIONGIRL.
#1 Wishing they had been more true to themselves
LIONGIRL stands for, above all, reclamation of personal power. Knowing who you are and what you’re about, believing and trusting yourself, and boldly expressing YOU in all areas of your life.
We learn at an early age that we need to fit in, align with the majority, etc. to stay alive. Rejection from our tribe, getting thrown out of the village is certain death! We begin to look for ways to fit in, slowly forgetting OUR WAY. Dress this way. Think that way. Look this way. Vote that way. Live your life this way. It’s OK for awhile. Then, it starts to feel bad, things stop working, and you begin to wake up out of the trance and wonder how the heck you got here.
The journey toward a truer version of yourself is one of the most rewarding adventures – certainly a quest I’ve been on for awhile. I used to think that shedding the layers of what’s NOT YOU takes time, patience, and that it has to be painful and serious.
But, LIONGIRL is showing me it can happen like lightning – and it can be fun! Why not? LIONGIRL knows one of the surest ways to access the truth of who you are is through the wisdom of your body. Through physical fitness, especially high energy, heart pounding, sweat pouring activities, we can more easily bypass our mental blocks, trick our “habit to conform,” and literally come alive inside of ourselves. So the next time you feel confused or uncertain about a choice or feel swept up in the river of status quo, get in your body and get in your power. Your body is where your truth resides. Put on your workout clothes, crank up the music, and see what it has to say.
#2 Wishing they hadn’t worked so hard
Lions sleep, like, 20 hours a day. We think of them as all noble and mighty and fierce (YES AND…) let’s face it, they PLAY and LOUNGE and SLEEP a lot. Such good reminders for those of us who think life has to be hard and success requires maximum push all the time.
#3 Wishing they had been brave enough to say how they really felt
Roar! Feel it, embody it, express it. LIONGIRL aims to inspire girls and women to be bold in their self-expression. Your greatest power comes from knowing who you are, owning it fully, and sharing it bravely with the world.
#4 Wishing they had kept in touch more with people they cared about
Our pride. Our people. Connection. Life is better together, with people we love and who love us back. LIONGIRL cares deeply about the community we are creating and the connections we make with each other.
#5 Wishing they had let themselves be happier
Why does suffering, fear, negativity, and misery have to be the default? Why do we deny ourselves happiness? LIONGIRL believes we are all POWERFUL creators and that we all have the ability to create happiness for ourselves – regardless of the wacky world around us. LIONGIRL believes in personal responsibility – that is, taking responsibility for your own life and happiness. Our birthright is JOY. Let’s reclaim it, like the royal souls we were born to be.
LIONS AMONG US: Estero, FL, USA
Featuring LIONS from around the world. Real places. Real people sharing images and experiences of their everyday encounters with the lion archetype. Send yours to adrian@liongirl.org.
Don’t mess with me, I’m having a peaceful moment!
-submitted by LIONGIRL pride member Jen Harper
“I run past this fountain when I do my morning runs at my mom’s place in Florida. I love seeing it as anytime I see a lion, whether it be a statue or picture or words of expression, it speaks to me…mainly because I love being a Leo sign.
“This fountain is so pretty because the water has a rotation timer. The flowers surrounding the statues are always so beautiful. I love how the lion’s expression is ‘Don’t mess with me, I’m having a peaceful moment!’ LOL!”
Adrian @ LIONGIRL Comments: This picture reminds me of the entrance to a sacred lion temple! I love the masculine lion guarding the entrance to the feminine waters…Stability and flow all in one. Protection, service, guardianship as well as beauty, mystery, and receptivity. I would love a sunrise run and meditation here! Thanks for sharing, Jen!
Right Body. Right Mind. Right Instincts. Let's Roar. 